


Stupid and Pitiful

by wishfulFeline



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Depression, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, hop has severe self confidence issues, takes place after hops battle with bede
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22489000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulFeline/pseuds/wishfulFeline
Summary: His eyes shoot open when the pain is truly scorching. He reached up to wipe his teary eyes, but his hand came away with blood too. He bit the tip of his tongue. His bangs were long enough to cover an injury on his head, weren’t they? It’d be fine. If someone asked it was because he got in the way of a Pokémon battle like the clumsy idiot he was.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 62
Collections: something old something new something borrowed something blue





	Stupid and Pitiful

**Author's Note:**

> another scene i meant to have as a part of a larger fic but im thinking i might post it as i finish each section and then just put em in a collection and number em in order  
> i really wanted to do stuff exploring hops inferiority complex and how he had to already been fragile if bedes battle hurt him as much as it did

Hop dug his nails into his scalp, pressing his palms hard on the sides of his head. He clenched his teeth hard, trying not to cry,  _ trying  _ to look like he wasn’t absolutely devastated until he was finally alone. When he was, he ran. It wasn’t like anyone would stop him, anyways. Bede certainly wouldn’t. Victor wasn’t there, Gloria wasn’t there, Leon wasn’t there. They were people who would get stopped. Two trainers that were rising into the spotlight with their consistent and overwhelming successes and the unbeatable champion they planned to challenge. Hop...who was he in comparison? He was the younger brother of the champion, of  _ course  _ he had received his endorsement. Victor and Gloria were endorsed and noticed by him because certainly he had seen their potential from the start and had been correct making that foresight. Leon was just too kind to not tell Hop from the start that he was useless. He left it up to the rest of the world to prove that to him. 

Loss after loss was doing just that. And finally not being able to keep up with his friends by losing a battle they had already won...It was too much. It was already painful enough. Hop was well aware of how inferior he was to the two he was traveling with, but something about this loss made the canyon between them widen. 

_ It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.  _ Who gets this hurt over a Pokémon battle, anyways? If you aren’t prepared to lose, you shouldn’t challenge anyone in the first place. Isn’t that obvious? Wasn’t it already obvious Hop would lose? Bede was just seeking out someone weak enough to boost his ego more, certainly…

When Hop finally stopped, his calves were burning. He blinked his eyes back into focus. He couldn’t recall when he started crying or how long he’d been running. He could easily tell he was still in the Wild Area. Sunset had already finished, leaving the sky dusty purple. The forestation around him was busy with Pokémon awakening for the evening, but it was still quiet enough to feel isolated. Even with the Pokéballs in his bag Hop felt loneliness gripping his heart. He was a loser. Over and over, he was a loser. Even after winning, he still managed to feel like a loser once the excitement died down.

He turned against a tree and rested his head against it. Tears formed in his eyes again the more he thought about it. Whoever Hop beat someone, other people had beaten them too. The gym leaders toned down their difficulty for challengers to their gym versus challengers for the Champion Cup. They were meant to be beatable, to a degree. Any time someone actually battled him with complete power Hop was easily swept away. 

He dug his forehead into the tree bark and growled at himself. He was an awful trainer for putting his Pokémon through so many losses. Drizzile especially, seeing as he was given to Hop the same time Thwackey and Raboot were given to Gloria and Victor. Those two probably adored their trainers for being so talented and training them so well. Drizzile was so good...how could his kindness to Hop be anything but pity? What Pokémon would want to be Hop’s?

It hurt. It hurt so much! Why did it hurt so much!? If Victor or Gloria lost to Bede, they wouldn’t end up crying and getting so worked up about it! Gloria would definitely get stronger and challenge Bede again the next time she saw him! And Victor would learn from it and order his Pokémon and attacks more effectively against Bede next time they battled! Not like Hop! Not like stupid  **_stupid_ ** Hop, who was here alone at night sobbing and  **_banging his head into a tree over and over!_ **

His eyes shoot open when the pain is truly scorching. He reached up to wipe his teary eyes, but his hand came away with blood too. He bit the tip of his tongue. His bangs were long enough to cover an injury on his head, weren’t they? It’d be fine. If someone asked it was because he got in the way of a Pokémon battle like the  _ clumsy idiot  _ he was.

He dropped down to his knees. Maybe it was time to set up camp for the night. It was dark and Hop’s face and head hurt and he just wanted to not think for a while. He slung his bag over and opened it. Immediately Drizzile shot out of his Pokéball on his own. Hop gasped at the sudden flash of light. Drizzile immediately rushed up to hug Hop. He was taken aback. Was it trying to comfort him? Could it tell how upset he was at their loss? Hop forced a smile and pat Drizzile on the head.

“Oi, mate, it’s alright. It was just one loss. We’ll get ‘im next time, yeah?” Hop said. The words were all for his Pokémon, things he didn’t believed applied to himself at all. Drizzile looked up at Hop and he could see the concern on the Pokémon’s face.

“What is it buddy? You still hurt at all?” Hop asked. His voice cracked. Drizzile hugged Hop again and then  _ he  _ patted Hop’s head too. He couldn’t take it. No person was there to comfort him, so his own Pokémon was instead? Hop’s pride crumbled to dust.

He hugged Drizzile and sobbed. 


End file.
